The Truth Be Told
by jracd
Summary: She had heard the scream come from somewhere. Where was the question? Then she realized the astonishing fact. It came from deep within herself...Ziva faces hidden emotion when her partner risks his life for her.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I don't own them. I just love watching them. Writing about them may not be the most flattering of ideas considering the writer. (= However, here is my very first NCIS fanfic. As a matter of fact, this is my first fanfic here at all. **

**Rated: T for Violence, emotions, and sexual situations. (nothing too overboard on that)**

Chapter One: Emotions Unfamiliar

She had heard the scream come from somewhere. Where was the question? Then she realized the astonishing fact. It came from deep within herself. Startled by her own outburst, Ziva turned to look at him. He lay there pale and motionless with blood seeping onto the black tarred parking lot below him.

"Ziva!" McGee ran towards her with a panicked scream. "Are you…."

McGee was about to ask if she was okay. He had seen the shooter aiming his weapon towards her. He wasn't close enough to get a shot to stop him. However, McGee still tried firing at him. He knew if something wasn't done, Ziva was surely going to be shot. In shock of the situation, McGee watched as the shot fired from the shooters gun but only mere seconds later the shooter fell lifeless. How? He wasn't sure. He just saw the event as it played out before his eyes. Only the shooter and Ziva could be seen. Her back was towards him. Then a shot sounded that wasn't from McGee or Ziva's gun. Then the shooter fell.

McGee followed Ziva's gaze to the ground. "Tony?" He whispered as he dropped to a knee beside DiNozzo. "Tony?"

Gibbs ran to join his team. He grabbed Ziva by the shoulders grasping her tightly. "Are you okay?"

"Tony." McGee's words caused Gibbs to look down.

Gibbs called for an ambulance before falling beside his senior field agent. "Tony, d### you!…" He cursed at his motionless agent. "I told you to stay home on this one."

McGee was pressing against Tony's wound trying to stop the blood. "He never listens, Boss."

Ziva stood staring without as much as a blink. Her arms felt heavy as did her limbs beneath her. "I shot the shooter after…." Ziva's voice became low in a whisper.. "he shot Tony."

Gibbs glanced up at his other agent. He could tell she was shaken but he had to take care of his wounded agent at the moment. He'd deal with Ziva later.

The moments that passed went by quickly yet in a blur. The back up arrived. Tony was loaded into the ambulance. Time kept going.

"You drive, Tim." Gibbs tossed McGee the keys. McGee nodded as they loaded into the NCIS van. Gibbs, McGee, and Ziva followed behind the ambulance as it headed away from the bloody scene.

Gibbs glanced over at Ziva. He watched as her hands shook even though she was wringing them tightly. He touched her shoulder to try to calm her. Her knuckles couldn't take much more punishment of her twisting.

"You did all you could do."

Ziva's head shot towards her boss. "What?"

"I said…"

"I know your words." Ziva swallowed as the bile built up in her mouth. She could taste the bitterness of almost vomiting. "I…" Ziva struggled for words. "I've seen many shot. I've seen many die. Many!" Her voice was high pitched with an unfamiliar emotion.

Gibbs furrowed his eyebrows. "I know."

Ziva shook her head back and forth profusely. "NO! You don't know." Her voice was loud and cracking with emotion.

McGee glanced quickly at her outburst but kept driving. Gibbs stared at Ziva. He was unfamiliar with seeing her this emotional.

"I killed my own brother." Ziva continued. "I was there when my sister was killed with a suicide bomb!"

Ziva fell to her knees in the floor of the vehicle. She beat the metal floor until her knuckles tore open. Gibbs tried to subdue her. His arms wrapped around her as she wailed out. It was so out of context with Ziva….so very pained. Gibbs held her tighter as he continually brushed his hands over her hair. McGee continued driving while trying not to look back at his teammate losing it right in front of them. The teammate, who had seen so much despair without going overboard on emotion, was now rocking on her knees. Her hands twisted in her messed hair as her shoulders shook with sobs.

"But…." Her words were a weak mutter now. "But….." She continued to whisper. "I can not do this. I can not watch him die. He is Tony."

**I am new to this site. I am very unfamiliar with how this works. So if you see any mistakes in my posting or have any suggestion. Feel free to let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: The Heart Still Beats

The thudding sound resonated in her head. It was her own heart beating rapidly inside her chest. Thud. Thud. Thud.

How long had he been in surgery? How long had it been since she watched him being loaded on the gurney? How long had it been since the shot rang in her ears? How long had it been since Tony threw his body in front of the bullet meant for her?

Ziva glanced around the waiting room at all that sat or stood. Her thoughts randomly jumping from one thing to the next. Anything not to think of Tony…._Waiting room. Waiting for news of someone's condition….so the name of the room made sense….Was there donuts in the vending machine?…..Why was the mother not stopping her child from being so loud?…..The floor was marbled tile….She liked the color blue._

Ziva separated herself from the rest of the NCIS team. All that were important to Tony had came there. She watched with curiosity thinking of their roles in Tony's life.

Palmer was Tony's secret friend and confident. Perhaps Tony didn't even realize that and it was not so much a secret to her. After all, she knew her partner better than most of them. He had told her that he actually spoke to the _Autopsy Gremlin _for advice a few times.

Abby was talking without hesitation. She broke down crying often amongst her words. She had already practically knocked over Ziva when entering the waiting area to the hospital emergency ward. Ziva embraced her back on instinct. But she preferred Abby take her attentions elsewhere. It didn't take long before Abby was embracing the rest of the team leaving Ziva to subtly escape from the team to her own private space.

Tim McGee looked worried as he bit his bottom lip. Ziva knew he was thinking about all the blood that puddled beneath Tony. Only upon him being lifted to the ambulance gurney did Ziva see the blood herself. There was a lot. Too much.

Jethro Gibbs stood almost stoic. However, Ziva saw the pained looked in his eyes. He cared too much for this particular agent to face he may be dying. Very Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo was Gibb's pride and joy. He always seemed to act the opposite with Tony. However, the team knew that Tony was his best agent NOT one of the best but THE best. Ziva thought that even the strong Jethro Gibbs was on the verge of tears.

Ducky was standing next to Abby trying to calm her. But his eyes focused on Ziva. He was Tony's dear friend as well. Someone that Tony respected almost as much as he did Gibbs.

Director Leon Vance walked in the room breaking Ziva's thoughts on Ducky. She centered her eyes on him. She felt he didn't belong there with them. Tony didn't like him. He felt the director used him and Ziva to gain his own agenda. Because Tony disliked him. Ziva decided so did she. She wanted to yell. "LEAVE!" But she refrained.

Then Ziva thought of herself. What was she to Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo? She was his partner. Yes. He had her back. That was always the case. But she felt she never truly had given him the same. She would have gladly took this bullet. But once again, Tony made sure he was the one giving in this partnership.

Ziva scratched nervously at the back of her neck. Was there more than just a partnership with them? Was he her friend? Or was there more than that? She always wondered if Tony were really jealous as he acted. Or was that just his way of taunting her as well? To her Anthony Dinozzo was always dangling in front of her as a torturous tease of something she couldn't have. Did he see it that way as well?

Ducky left Abby's side to check upon Ziva. "How are you doing, my girl?"

Ziva was staring past Ducky but jerked her eyes to meet his. Her eyes were cold and steely. "Is he dead?"

"Tony?" Ducky gasped out.

"No." Ziva wouldn't allow her mind to go there at the moment. "I mean the one that shot Tony?"

"Yes. He has met his demise." Ducky informed her.

"Good." Ziva stated coldly. "I am glad I killed him. For he shot Tony."

Ducky's eyebrows knitted together when he noticed Ziva once again staring past him. He followed her gaze to an elderly couple leaving the waiting room to exit the hospital. Ducky recognized the scarf the woman held. Ziva aimed to only burn more hurt into whoever mourned the man that shot Tony.

Ziva turned from Ducky. Ducky tried to touch her shoulder but she pulled away. "Not now. Please, Dr….. Ducky."

Ducky shook his head in understanding. He warily walked back to sit with the others as they awaited the outcome of Tony's surgery.

The hospital staff took the team into their own room as things began to get organized for the emergency. They only felt more eagerness there. Ziva now sat with them but she still didn't speak. She only waited as they all seemed to be doing.

The doctor finally approached them. It was a strange relief to some who had met Dr. Brad Pitt before. He had put volunteer hours in at the hospital emergency room. He was even glad that Anthony Dinozzo's case was brought to him. Those that remembered him from Tony's past brush with death felt at least he was in good hands.

They all stood at once waiting for news of Tony's condition.

"It was a very serious injury. I'll be honest. All we have is hope and prayers at this point. " Dr. Pitt informed them. "Tony's lungs aren't in the best shape as you know due to the Pneumonic Plague. With the bullet piercing his lung, that added to the complications. The bullet lodged into his spinal vertebrae. Tony is too weak for the bullet to be removed at this time. However, we did stop the internal bleeding. He isn't out of danger yet. His condition is serious. We've done all we can do at this point. It is up to Tony now."

Ziva didn't know why she asked such a silly question once she did speak. However, it was all that came to her. All she longed to hear. "But does his heart still beat?"

**I am not sure how long this story will be. It has a lot of angst the first few chapters then we'll get to have a little fun with my fave characters. Thanks for the reviews.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Only a Whisper of Hope

Abby touched Tony's hand then leaned to kiss him on the forehead. "You better get well, Tony. You promised me a bowling night with the nuns."

Gibbs chuckled lightly before he fake slapped Tony. He didn't really touch his head just the air around it. "You will come out of this." Gibbs leaned over to whisper. "I told you to stay home on this one."

"Like I said." McGee grinned. "He never listens, Boss."

"That's for sure, Tim." Gibbs breathed out in a slight sigh of relief. Tony wasn't out of danger but he was headed that way compared to earlier. All they had was hope. He trusted Tony to fight for life just like he did years ago.

"I think he's like a cat." Abby smiled as she grinned and rocked back and forth on the heels of her large buckled up boots. Every one stared with questioning gazes. "What? He has nine lives. I mean look how many times Tony has escaped death."

"How many lives does he have left then?" Ziva walked up placing her fingers in his hand briefly before pulling back. She swallowed before turning away from Tony. Before any could say a word to her, she bolted quickly from the room.

"I'll go after her, Gibbs." Abby placed one more kiss on Tony's head. "If he wakes up, call on my cell."

"You're not supposed to have cells on in the hospital, Abby." McGee reminded her. Gibbs slapped the back of McGee's head. "But we will call if Tony wakes up." McGee added quickly.

Gibbs leaned and kissed Abby on the side of her head. "Abs, take care of Ziva for me. Okay?"

Abby shook her head as she headed out to find Ziva. A portly nurse looked up over he clipboard as the ladies retreated from the room. Her wispy gray hair told of her many years experience as a nurse. He demeanor was another indication of her experience. The nurse looked up from giving Tony more medicine through his IV. "He won't be waking up any time soon. I could tell his wife was upset so I thought you should tell her. We're keeping him in a induced coma for a couple of days to ease the pain and take down some of the swelling."

"Wife?" Gibbs turned to question the nurse.

"Oh. I assumed the one was his wife. I think her name is Ziva." The nurse pulled off her latex gloves to throw them in the trash. "She …." The nurse smiled. "I guess I assumed wrong."

"She's just his partner." McGee spoke up.

"Oh." The nurse raised an eyebrow as she spoke. "I'll leave you to talk with him. The doctor prefers we talk to the comatose patients. He said it sometimes helps ease their anxiety of not knowing what his going on."

The nurse exited the room leaving Gibbs and McGee to have some time with Tony.

In the meantime, Abby found Ziva splashing water in her face. She looked like she has been crying.

"Are you okay?" Abby touched Ziva's shoulder. Ziva flinched at Abby's touch but didn't remove her hand. "Tony knew what he was doing, Ziva. He was doing his job when he jumped in front of that bullet. It's not your fault."

"I know." Ziva turned away from the sink. She placed her hands behind her leaning on the porcelain of the sink. "That's not it, Abby."

Abby turned to lean against the sink as well. She folded her arms over her chest. "Then what is it? Tony is going to make it."

"I think so too." Ziva blinked as another tear sneaked over her lashes and down her cheek. "I mean….I can't allow myself to think otherwise. He is Tony."

"Sorry to interrupt, Ladies." the nurse that took care of Tony walked in the bathroom. "I just thought you should know that I was the one that prepped your friend for surgery."

"Yes." Ziva questioned as she waited for the nurse to add something. After all, she didn't care who prepped Tony for surgery.

"Well." the nurse smiled genuinely. "Are you Ziva?"

"Yes." Ziva once again looked quizzical at the nurse. "Why?"

"He whispered your name quite a few times while he was being prepped. He was in and out of it while the anesthetic took hold of him. I guess because he was worried about his partner." The nurse thought it may help the girl to know how much this particular patient cared for her.

Ziva bit her lip. "I think I need some air." Once again Ziva escaped from the presence of others.

"Her fist shooting?" The nurse turned to Abby and questioned.

"Not at all." Abby frowned at Ziva's reaction at the mere mention of Tony whispering her name.

"Oh." The nurse winked. "First time facing she's in love then."

**Once again…thanks to those who are reviewing and reading this story. I appreciate your thoughts and input. Tony will wake up next chapter…because I have to have Tony in my story because he is my fave after all. **


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4: Blood Stains**_

Gibbs ordered all to go home and get some rest. There was no use in staying around the hospital as Tony was stabilized as well as allowed no visitors. Doctor's order due to Tony having to be in an induced coma. Tony would need them more once he awoke.

The doctor had wanted to speak to Tony's next of kin before he told any more information concerning Tony's condition. There was a choice to be made about Tony's next step in healing. The doctor only made Gibbs privy to the information.

"I need to speak to his closet family member." Dr. Pitt informed Gibbs with a worried look on his face.

"We've been trying to reach his father but so far we haven't been able to." Gibbs ran his hand under his chin, which had grown stubble from a five o'clock shadow. The team had been there more than twelve hours since the shooting. That wasn't even counting the hours they had put in on the job before the time in the hospital. "Come on, Doc. Tell me what is going on."

Dr. Pitt scratched his own chin contemplating. "Well, we have to keep him in a coma to reduce movement and pain. He will remain in the coma for a couple of days but then…."

"Spill it, Doctor." Gibbs urged the doctor on. "What is Dinozzo facing?"

"A big decision. Tony has a bullet lodged in his middle vertebrae. His lungs are weak but that bullet is paralyzing his lower body. If we take it out now, he has a better chance of walking in the future." Dr. Pitt inhaled deeply then blew out air in frustration.

"And if it doesn't come out now?" Gibbs asked confused why there was even a debate about this.

"If we wait, he has a better chance of living." The doctor informed him. "He's very weak, Agent Gibbs. A very healthy man has less than 30 percent chance of surviving the surgery. Tony has even a less chance."

Gibbs turned away to stare at Tony. " His lungs may not can handle it?"

"I'm afraid not." Dr. Pitt stared at Tony as well. "I suggest not removing the bullet until later when his lungs are healed. Of course, Tony's lungs will always be damaged. However, he'll have a better chance later."

"And if you wait?" Gibbs knew what was coming. However, he needed to hear it for himself.

"Tony will have a less likely chance to be able to walk again." The doctor hated telling Gibbs the dire news. "His father is the one that has to make the decision though. I can't. I can only suggest. If you don't find his father, I will do what I feel best. Ultimately, it is up to his father."

"I understand. I'll try to locate his father." Gibbs walked up and rustled Tony' hair. "I'd hate to make that type of decision. Because honestly, I'd make sure he'd live. Walking or not."

"I agree." Dr. Pitt walked to the door. "You and your team need to go home now. He'll not be awake tonight."

Gibbs shook his head in agreement. He then sat in a chair next to Tony's bed. He slid his chair closer. "Tony, what would you do? I mean…" Gibbs swallowed before continuing. "I know you. You'd probably risk the surgery. I'd probably risk it too if I were in your shoes. But I'm not. And I can't think of my best agent not being here. I'd rather he be alive in a wheelchair. Maybe I'm being selfish here, Tony. But I just don't want to mourn your death. My question is if your dad would be stubborn like you. I'm afraid he'd make a choice out of what you would want. That could kill you. So here I am confiding in you, Dinozzo. I'm going home and getting some sleep. We've tried to find your dad. I bet I'll fall asleep and forget to try to reach him anymore tonight."

000000000000000000000000

Ziva hated leaving Tony but Gibbs made it plain that no one was to stay at the hospital. Ziva walked into the bathroom of her apartment. She turned on the shower to warm the water. She hoped the aching of her body would ease up when she got in the spray of the water.

Ziva sighed as she glanced at herself in the mirror before her. She rubbed down her blouse noticing the blood stains splattered on it. Tony's blood. How did she not see this before? Even when she was at the hospital in the bathroom, she never noticed.

Suddenly, Ziva's stomach churned. She turned quickly as the contents of her stomach came up into her toilet. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve. She blinked as her body became weaker by the moment. Ziva felt her body shaking at the thought of Tony's blood on her.

Ziva stepped into spray of the shower without removing any of her clothing. She picked up a loofa sponge and began to scrub vigorously at her clothing. Ziva scrubbed so furiously that her blouse tore then her skin beneath the blouse reddened as well..

Ziva looked down at the blood and water mix pooling at her feet. She shivered as her body felt cold even in the hotness of the water.

"Tony" She screamed out as she pounded her fists against the tiled shower walls.

"Tony." She then whispered as she slid down the wall. Ziva curled her arms around her knees as she shook and shuddered. Tears streamed down her face. "I miss you, Tony."

0000000000

Tony's eyes opened slowly. He breathed out as he focused in confusion on his surroundings. "Ziva?"

"She's not here, Sweetie." The elderly nurse winked. "And you're not supposed to wake up until tomorrow at the earliest. Sorry but I have to give you something to make you sleep. How in the world are you awake is beyond me." She glanced at his chart. "I see now. That new nurse is going to be wrote up this time. I've been patient enough. She forgot to give you …" The nurse glanced at Tony. "I guess you could care less about that. Your concern is about Ziva? Huh?"

"Yes." Tony's voice was hoarse and in a whisper. "Ziva."

"She's fine. The girl is worried about you. And I have the funny suspicion that if I don't take care of you right, I may not like what she would do to me. So whether you like it or not." The nurse watched Tony as he grimaced in pain. She stuck the needle in the IV that lead to Tony. "Back to sleep, handsome."

**Author's Note: Love all the feedback. Moving along to get to my favorite subject: Tony and Ziva**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Dancing in the Dark**

Tony didn't know exactly where he was. All that he knew was he could hear someone sobbing. He wanted desperately to reach and touch her. He knew the female needed comfort. He just couldn't see her nor could he find her because it was dark. So very dark.

He heard something being whispered in his ear. Strange how he could feel the warmth of her breath in his ear and hear her whisper but couldn't reach to touch her. She felt so far away. Or was it him that felt far away?

Another whisper as Tony made out her voice between the sobs. Was the female speaking Hebrew? Ziva? Was his Ziva crying? Strange but he always felt she was his Ziva. He'd never tell anyone that. But he'd shown his possessiveness over her quiet a few times without meaning to.

Why was his Ziva crying?

_Shhhhhhhhhhh. My Ziva. _

The words wouldn't come out. Although Tony desperately wanted them to.

_Shhhhhhhh. My love_.

Tony felt a lot braver when he knew she couldn't hear him. He could think what he always longed to say. And truth be told, he'd probably say the words if he could only stop her crying. He'd never heard her cry before. He'd seen her angry. He's even seen that anger geared towards him. He even saw her upset and hurt. The truth be told, Tony knew when Ziva was hiding the emotions. He always knew.

But never did he see nor hear the tears.

_Dance with me, Ziva. _

Strange words if he could actually say them. However, those were the words that Tony wanted to tell her. He would be Fred Astaire. She would be Audrey Hepburn. He knew there were other leading ladies that Fred Astaire danced with on the big screen. But Audrey Hepburn had the beauty that he felt Ziva had. Therefore, Ziva would have to be Audrey if she chose to dance with him.

The sobbing stopped. Ziva took his hand and they danced.

"He seems to be calming down now." The nurse, who they came to know as Nurse Stinette, touched Ziva's shoulder. "I believe you taking his hand is the reason."

Ziva blushed as she glanced down at their now entwined fingers. For some reason, she had quit crying. She felt peaceful at the moment.

Gibbs stood at the corner of the hospital room watching his agent pour out emotions. Emotions that he was surprised to see. Why so much emotions from his strong willed agent? He thought perhaps because it was Tony who took her bullet. The whole team felt that was the reason. Ziva felt guilty. However, Gibbs wondered if it was more. He shook those thoughts from his head as he stared down at the papers before him.

_Tony, how could you do this?_ Gibbs shook his head then closed his eyes. He had already informed the rest of the team that Tony's father had a decision to be made. That was until Director Vance showed up for the work that morning.

0o0

"Legal sent me up these documents yesterday. You were still at the hospital. I figured it could wait one more day. You and your team needed some sleep. " Vance handed Gibbs the papers. "Seems Tony was thinking ahead. Years ago."

Vance walked away leaving Gibbs with the paperwork. Gibbs glanced down at the papers scanning through them. He swallowed before tossing the papers on McGee's desk.

"What do you make of these, Tim?" He knew but wanted someone to deny the facts for him.

McGee scanned the papers then looked up. "Tony made you…." McGee blew out the held in air from his lungs. He saw Gibbs face then stopped his words and continued with the facts instead. "I guess you can sign for the operation or decide not to. This has been in standing for a long time, Boss. Since Kate was still here."

"Yeah. That's what I thought." Gibbs rubbed his neck. "When he gets out of this, I'm going to kill him."

McGee chuckled a little before going back to his task on the computer.

0o0

"Have you made up your mind, Agent Gibbs?" Dr. Pitt pulled him aside so the others didn't hear. "We have to have it now. His window of opportunity is closing."

"I don't want him to die, Doc." Gibbs glanced through the glass at Ziva and Tony. "I can't believe he left this decision up to me."

Ducky walked up just as Gibbs spoke the words. "I came as soon as I could, Jethro."

"I'll let you two talk." Dr. Pitt motioned to the nurses' station. "I'll be right over here waiting the decision."

"Why? Ducky, I don't want to make this decision." Gibbs rolled his neck to try to ease the tension.

"He knew you'd make the decision best for him." Ducky assured him. "Tony trusts you, Jethro. Apparently with his life."

Gibbs quirked up his mouth in a half smile. "Sometimes, I think the he wants me to pay for all those head slaps."

"Knowing our dear boy. I wouldn't put it past him." Ducky chuckled. "What is your gut telling you, Gibbs?"

Gibbs blinked. "I don't want him to die, Ducky."

"None of us do." Ducky touched his shoulder. "However, that is not the question I proposed to you."

"My gut says that Tony would want the surgery and that I'm being selfish not wanting him to get it. My gut tells me that Tony can survive it because he's strong." Gibbs glanced back at his agents.

"Have you made your decision?" The doctor held the papers to be signed for the surgery.

"Yeah." Gibbs pushed the paper away. "He needs to wait until he is stronger before you cut into him again."

Dr. Pitt shook his head. "I think that is the best decision as well." He walked away.

"What happened to that famous Leroy Jethro Gibbs and his gut?" Ducky watched as Gibbs turned back to look at Tony.

"My gut also told me that if anything happened to Tony during that surgery…" Jethro then nodded his head towards Ziva. "I'd not only lose one agent. I'd lose two."

**Sorry that I went a few days without updating. I had church on Sunday and Saturday is for family. Thanks for all those that are reading this. Thanks as well for the reviews.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Awaking to Her Eyes**

Tony blinked a few times trying to keep the glaring light from hurting his newly awakened eyes. Gibbs stood a distance from Tony's bed. If one didn't know better, they would have thought he was nervous. The truth be told, he was. He was nervous that Tony would be more than upset about the decision Gibbs had made.

Abby bounced excitedly waiting for Tony to open his eyes completely. "Is he awake yet? Is he..is he?"

"Shh, Abby." McGee took her hand to calm her down. "He's coming around."

Ziva swallowed as she fought back an onslaught of tears. Too many times, she had cried lately. What a shame for her to show so much emotion over Tony. If she kept this up, all would know her secret. She was just facing her secret. There was no way she wanted others to know. Her secret was something she had faced over the last few days since Tony's shooting. Faced dead on the night he was shot.

_The night of the shooting._

"Hello, Ziva?" Ray asked softly. "Are you there?"

"Yes." Ziva exhaled into the receiver of the phone. "He was shot, Ray. Tony was shot."

"Oh, Sweetie. I'm sorry. I know what he means to you." Ray was comforting as usual. He never asked for more than Ziva was eager to give. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"He jumped in front of a bullet for me." Ziva slid down deeper into her bed covers.

Ray smiled knowingly. "Did you ever doubt he would?" He chucked lightly hoping to calm his friend.

"No. Tony always has my back." Ziva grinned through her pain. "Always."

"You always have his back to, Ziva." Ray sighed as he spoke. "You know that. Don't you?"

"Of course." Ziva scooted farther down trying to stop the chill she felt. "It's just that…."

"What?" Ray loved talking to Ziva. He loved being there for her. However, he knew that a friendship is all she'd ever give to him. Tony was an obstacle that he wasn't willing to try to jump. He could tell he'd fall flat on his face if he ever attempted that hurdle.

"I don't know." Ziva twisted the sheet below her in her fists. "I don't know."

"Okay." Ray pressed on. "But it's okay to feel what you feel."

"He's my partner, Ray." Ziva tried to hide her true feelings.

"I see." Ray took a sip of his sweet tea.

"Oh, Ray." Ziva began to sob. "I didn't really fully realize it until I saw him there. I can't live without him, Ray. I can't."

"The way I understand all that you've told me about Special Agent Dinozzo, he can't live without you either." Ray reminded her of Tony's own words.

"I love him, Ray." Ziva admitted startling herself more than Ray. "I love Tony."

0o0

"You okay, Ziver?" Gibbs touched Ziva's shoulder.

"Yes. Of course." Ziva tried to be her old self by showing little emotion.

Gibbs quirked a smile. "You should really go be near him. He's your partner after all."

Ziva nodded before strolling up to Tony's bedside. Tony opened his eyes once more seeing her beautiful doe eyes staring down at him. He could see the sheen of water that was trapped just on her irises.

"Would you like to dance, Audrey?" Tony weakly whispered out.

"I think you're delusional." Ziva squeezed Tony's hand. "I'm Ziva."

"I know who you are my little ninja." Tony whispered again feeling the pain of a hoarse throat where a tube once resided.

Ziva quirked a smile at Tony. The others soon gathered trying to tell Tony how much they missed him. Soon Gibbs ushered his team out after Nurse Stinette said Tony needed his rest. Tony looked relaxed until Ziva started to leave as well.

Tony squeezed tighter to her hand. "Don't go."

Ziva turned to look down at Tony. "I'm here."

He pulled her down. "Ziva…" Tony swallowed trying to ease the pain in his throat. Fear displayed across his face. He had been jolly in front of the team. He was putting on the clown Tony façade to the fullest. But now it was just him and Ziva.

"Tony." Ziva brushed her fingers across Tony's forehead. "Tell me."

"Abby squeezed my leg. I saw her." Tony bit his bottom lip. "Ziva….." Tony gulped. " I can't feel my legs."

**Author's Note: Still don't own them. If I did, Tony would be for my use only. (haha) Sorry so short.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: A Question to Be Answered**

Tony put on a wonderful façade of being okay around his coworkers. However, Ziva could tell the fact his legs weren't working had him very upset. She never said a word to him a day ago when he told her his legs were numb. She merely bent down and kissed his forehead. She stated something in Hebrew that Tony guessed was supposed to be soothing. Strangely, it was.

Tony held no malice to Gibbs for making the decision. "You went with your gut, Boss. I trust your gut."

Gibbs smiled trying to hide the guilt he felt for not going with his gut. He went on emotion alone. "Couldn't lose my best agent."

"Ha!" Tony pointed to McGee then Ziva. "Told you I was his best agent."

The team chuckled at Tony being Tony. Abby perked her lips in a quirky grin. "Yeah. But I'm his favorite on the team."

"Don't rub it in, Abby." Tony feigned jealousy.

Ziva held tightly to Tony's hand as they spoke. The team noticed but never mentioned it. They wondered if it was guilt causing her to cling to the man that took a bullet for her or more? None would question it. They just pretended to ignore it.

"Well, it's been a long day." Gibbs patted Tony's shoulder. "You need some rest so you can get back on the job."

Tony tried to smile but the pained look on his face told them all that he was worried that he could never be the agent he once was. Dr. Pitts entered the room as they readied to leave.

"Good to see you awake, Agent Dinozzo." The doctor greeted Tony as the others excused themselves all but Ziva. Tony still clung to her hand as if that were a norm for them. Even though both knew it wasn't. They wouldn't tread that territory yet. As it brought an unfamiliar comfort to them both.

"Brad Pitt!" Tony laughed. "Go figure."

"Sorry, I wasn't here for you when you awoke. I had some other business that was very demanding. I never expected you to be awake so soon after we stopped the medicine to induce the coma." The doctor held Tony's chart glancing at it as he spoke.

"It's okay, Doc." Tony pushed himself up in the bed to feel more secure.

"I need to speak to Agent Dinozzo by himself if you don't mind." The doctor turned towards Ziva.

"Of course." Ziva smiled before leaning to kiss Tony's forehead as she had done previously.

Tony squeezed her hand tighter. "I'd like her to stay if that's okay."

"No problem. That is entirely up to you." Dr. Pitt smiled genuinely. "This is about your condition."

Tony nodded his head in understanding. "Go ahead."

"As you've been informed by my other colleague, the operation would have had a better chance of success if done earlier. However, I agree with Agent Gibbs decision in waiting. You were weak and it was too dangerous." The doctor waited to see Tony's reaction.

Tony swallowed. "I understand. The boss would take care of me. I just want to know if I can ever walk again."

Yes. It was a scary question. But a question that Tony wanted to face sooner than later.

"That really is up to your body and if you choose an operation in the near future. In order to have a chance to walk again, we need to get that bullet out. It will still be dangerous. However, if we wait until your lungs are better and some swelling is down, you will have a better chance of survival. I suggest we revisit that decision after you're in better shape." The doctor sighed. "I know how strong you can be. I just want this decision not to be taken lightly. The operation still poses a serious threat to your health."

"I understand." Tony didn't even realize he was squeezing Ziva's hand tighter.

"Do you have any further questions?" Dr. Pitt folded his arms over his chest.

"Uhh." Tony's face reddened a little. "Well…."

Ziva could feel the awkwardness in the room. "Perhaps, I should leave."

"No." Tony stated quickly. "I mean…this involves you too."

Ziva glanced down at Tony confused.

"I mean..just forget I said that." Tony rubbed his head. "Just kind of loopy still." Tony made a circle motion around his head to show he was out of it.

"Your question, Tony?" The doctor raised his eyebrows peering at his patient.

"Can I still…" Tony rubbed his chin then his neck nervously. "You…well…can I still be intimate with a woman?"

**Author's note: Moving along...moving along. Thanks again for all the readers and reviewers. I think the reviews are becoming addicting. Makes me want to post the next chapter. (=**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Substitute?**

Ziva couldn't sleep the night before. Tony's question not only disturbed her but intrigued her. After all, he had said it concerned her as well. Surely, Tony was teasing as usual. He only wanted her there because she was his partner. He needed her by his side in case the news was beyond what Tony could handle. That was all it was. Wasn't it? He didn't mean it really concerned her. Tony also said that he was loopy. That was it! Wasn't it? He didn't mean that it really concerned her. Did he?

Ziva sighed with relief when the that the doctor explained that being paralyzed in part of the body didn't necessarily mean other parts. Tony had reddened profusely. But he was still relieved. Very relieved.

Ziva had to leave Tony's side after he fell asleep. He seemed to want her around. At least she hoped he wanted her around. She definitely didn't want to leave his side. Maybe she was imposing.

"Hey." McGee sat down at his desk. "You're in early."

"Couldn't sleep." Ziva stated mundanely before clicking on her computer.

McGee leaned back into his chair. "Tony is doing okay? Isn't he?"

"Yes." Ziva sighed. "As well as can be expected. I mean…he has to face he can't walk. I don't know if I could be that strong. But Tony is special. He's strong. He should never have came in that day. Gibbs told him to stay home." She seemed to rant on.

McGee shook his head in understanding. "Well, Jeanne Benoit was shot. The boss thought Tony would be too angry to think right."

Ziva glanced at McGee before biting her lip. "Did you think that Jeanne's death bothered Tony that badly?"

McGee arched an eyebrow. "Tony was upset. But…" McGee shook his head. "He wasn't as upset as a man in love."

"He stopped loving her long ago." Ziva informed him. "I think so."

"Yeah. I do as well." McGee nodded. "I guess Gibbs was trying to protect him."

"The killer was baiting Tony. That is why Gibbs wanted him out of this. He was trying to protect him." Ziva nodded. " He knew the killer wanted Tony." Ziva placed her hands on her cheek. "I guess he got him."

"No. Tony is still with us." Gibbs stated as he walked into the bullpen.

Following behind him was a tall handsome man. Gibbs motioned for the man to sit in Tony's chair. Ziva jumped to her feet.

Gibbs held up his hand to warn Ziva to keep calm. "This is Agent Thomas Welling."

"He is not replacing Tony!" Ziva crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

"Of course not." McGee interjected. He thought he could help his boss out with the situation. Gibbs furrowed his eyebrows and looked at McGee to continue. "He's…." McGee thought of his words carefully. After all, he was trying to dissipate Ziva's obvious anger. "He is Tony's substitute. You know as in temporary." Tim stressed the word TEMPORARY.

"Oh." Ziva exhaled. She then sat back down. "Very well then."

Agent Welling wasn't used to woman not wanting him around. Usually women fell over themselves wanting to be near him. However, this one obviously did not.

Gibbs quirked his mouth into a smile. "Get your gear. Missing petty officer. Welling, you ride with me."

McGee watched as Agent Welling grabbed his backpack and followed Gibbs to the elevator.

"Boss seems to like him." McGee noted in a hushed whisper.

Ziva grumbled lowly. "No. He's trying to protect him."

"From?" McGee stepped into the elevator situating himself behind Gibbs and Welling.

"Me." Ziva said in a sing-song voice.

"You do realize I can hear you?" The new agent asked.

"Yes." Ziva answered frankly.

Gibbs chuckled lightly before shaking his head back and forth. He felt sorry for Tony's substitute. He wasn't sure the man could last. Ziva had already scared off two agents before they made it to interview with Director Vance. Therefore, Vance made sure he did his interviews with Ziva out of the office.

Ziva ignored the new agent most of the day. She only acknowledged him twice. Both times to threaten his life in Hebrew. McGee was a little more welcoming. But only a little.

"I don't think they like me much, Boss." Tom stated as he placed his bag at Tony's desk. He was glad the other two agents left for the day. "They do realize I'm only here until Tony is ready to come back?"

"I'd not be so welcoming if Vance tried to replace my best agent." Gibbs informed him. "I know you're a good agent, Welling. I've read your file. But Tony is a part of this team."

"I understand that. To be honest, I don't want to be here. I'll do my job as best as I can. But I was picked because Vance knew I was headed to the new office in Tampa Bay. My wife has already set up house there." Tom chuckled. "I wasn't plan on horning in on Tony Dinozzo. I think the woman would kill me without a trace if I even tried."

"She wouldn't have to." Abby approached. "I wanted to meet Tony's temporary …person to sit at his desk..on a temporary basis…to temporarily do Tony's job. I'm sure not as good. But that's okay. It's only temporary any way."

"I'm just the substitute." Agent Welling winked.

Abby crossed her arms defiantly over her chest. "You may be a hottie. But you're NOT Tony. And charming me will not make me like you. Because Tony is the ultimate charmer. Do you understand?"

"I think." The new agent leaned against Tony's desk. He held up his ringer finger. "Married."

"Oh." Abby nodded. "Good. Because …well...just because. I miss Tony. He's irreplaceable."

Gibbs watched as Abby marched away. He couldn't help but think how much he missed Tony too.

O0o0o0o0o0

Ziva wrapped the towel around her as she stepped from the shower. She was grateful that the hot shower had helped her aching muscles.

She walked out of the white tiled bathroom.

"Nice." Tony teased.

"Quit dreaming, Tony." Ziva ran her hand through her wet hair. "I am thankful that Nurse Stinette allowed me to use your shower."

"You could have went home, Ziva." Tony pushed himself up in his bed. "You didn't have to come here."

Ziva pulled on a NCIS t-shirt just behind the hospital curtain so Tony could not see. She then walked back into Tony's sight.

"I know." Ziva sat on the side of his bed. "Do you not want me here?"

"No..No…" Tony interjected quickly. "I mean. I hate staring at the walls. Boredom sucks."

"So I am better than boredom." Ziva quipped. "I see how it is."

Tony smiled warmly. "You know I want you here." He rubbed his hand down Ziva's bare arm. "I just don't want you to feel obligated. I made the decision to come there on my own."

"We're NCIS agents, Tony. We are partners. I would have done the same. It is our job. " Ziva shivered at the feeling of Tony's fingers running up and down her arm. "I want to be here. Can I be honest with you?"

Tony swallowed nervously. "Yeah. Of course."

"I can't sleep. I keep seeing you laying in a pool of blood." Ziva closed her eyes trying to keep at bay her oncoming tears. "I need to be here more than you need me here. I just want to wake up and see you are breathing."

"Hey." Tony pulled Ziva around to look at him. "I'm not going anywhere. I may not be what I once was."

"Don't say that, Tony." Ziva allowed tears to flow. "You are Tony. Please know that legs or not….You are Tony."

"Don't cry, Ziva." Tony pulled her down to embrace her. "I've never seen you cry."

"I am weak lately." Ziva felt awkward in Tony's arms. Awkward but wonderful.

Tony kissed the top of Ziva's head. He didn't know why they were being so close physically when they had always kept each other at bay before. It felt good though. He needed to feel good again.

"You're not weak." Tony could feel Ziva pull her legs into bed with him. "You're my ninja."

**Author's Note: Once again, thanks for the readers and reviewers. You are all too kind.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Walls Come Tumbling Down**

Tony pulled himself up with the bar that hung over his bed. He grunted out surprised at how difficult it was. He definitely needed to work on his upper body strength. He tried to rotate himself around so that he was able to get in the wheelchair beside his bed. His body fell with a thud to the mattress.

Tony cursed loudly before slamming his fist in frustration against the mattress.

Nurse Stinette had been making her rounds. "Hey. A little early for that, Tony." She reprimanded.

He glanced up. "I don't want someone wiping my…." He knew the kind elderly nurse preferred no foul language. "BUTT for me."

"Yeah. Well, that's my job." She laughed. "And with a cutie like you. It is a perk to my job."

Tony tried to smile. He even faked a chuckle.

"You don't have to put up a façade for me, young man." The nurse helped move Tony back up in bed. "I know you're scared. I also know you hate this."

"Yeah." Tony admitted. "I can't show the team though. I mean Gibbs would feel guilty for not having the surgery done. Ziva is already feeling guilty I got shot and not her. I'm a big enough burden not to put more on them."

The nurse studied Tony's expression. "You're kind of mad though."

Tony knitted his brows together. "Yes. I would have had that operation. I …" He stopped. "I don't want to be an invalid. I'd rather have died."

"You're not an invalid." The nurse pushed pillows behind Tony. "That kind of insults a lot of people that have to live like this. You may not have to."

"But we don't know that. Do we?" Tony stated angrily. He sighed out apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Nurse Stinette smiled genuinely. Tony half expected her to say that it was a sign of weakness. But he felt weak. Very weak and hated every second of it. He also hated himself for feeling self pity. He wanted the old Tony back!

"I just want to punch something. To cuss someone. To …" Tony balled up his fists.

"Go ahead." Nurse Stinette shrugged. "I've heard it all. However, I've never seen someone care as much about their friends as to pretend all is perfect for them."

"I don't want their pity!" Tony yelled out. "Especially NOT HERS!"

"Well now." Nurse Stinett grinned as she checked Tony's vitals. "Doesn't that feel better?"

"Not really." Tony exhaled as he placed his arm over his eyes.

Nurse Stinnett wrote down the information on Tony. She then checked his IV. "She doesn't pity you."

"What?" Tony removed his arm from his face.

"Ziva." Nurse Stinette continued to talk. "She doesn't pity you. She cares. There is a difference, Tony. So be very careful to not push her away. I think that girl needs you right now. More than you know."

"I don't think that's it." Tony adjusted himself to sit straighter. For some reason, that made him feel manly. Something that he didn't feel much lately. Manly.

"Trust me." Nurse Stinette patted Tony's shoulder. "Her walls are crumbling down. You are going to be the one that catches her when she starts crumbling too."

"I'm the one that will…I mean…I'm not much to lean on considering." Tony motioned to his legs.

"Please." Nurse Stinette walked towards the door. "The self loathing isn't pretty. Nor is self-pity. You're allowed to feel it. But honestly, you seem stronger than that."

Tony shook his head. "You tell me I'm allowed to feel what I feel. Now you are chastising me for it."

"Not at all." Nurse Stinette winked. "I just know things are going to get worse on days. Better on others. The thing is I've been in her shoes. Pity isn't something we feel. We just want to help."

"You're talking from a nurse's point of view." Tony told her.

"No." Nurse Stinette stopped and peered at Tony. "I've never told this to anyone. I don't know why I'm even telling you. However, I'm talking from a lover's. My boyfriend committed suicide after he was badly injured in a car wreck. He was paralyzed. We were only teens in high school. He was a big football jock. He thought his life was over. He had no idea what that did to me. I wanted so bad to help him. He never let me in. Don't push her out. Because she needs to be there for you as much as you will need her to be."

Nurse Stinette left on those words. Tony closed his eyes

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

_**Two weeks later**_

"I was thinking…" Ziva paced back and forth across the bullpen.

McGee leaned on his elbows looking up at Ziva. "Tony would answer that in 'Trying something new'."

Agent Welling laughed but stopped immediately when Ziva glared at him.

"As I was saying." Ziva glared again just to warn Tim not to interrupt. "I think Tony should stay at my home. I could help him as well as exercise with him. As you know, I am far more in shape than you, McGee. And well, Gibbs has stairs…and Abby has the coffin. Tony would not like that."

"Maybe you should ask me about that first." Tony wheeled up in his wheelchair with Gibbs following.

"I thought I was getting you from the hospital?" Ziva smiled broadly at seeing Tony.

"I was already there, Ziver." Gibbs walked to his desk. "Tony was ready to get out of there."

"Hey. I'm Agent Tom Welling." Tom stuck his hand out towards Tony. Tony shook it but stared at him. Too handsome. Did Ziva notice that?

"You're my replacement?" Tony squeaked out.

"NO!" McGee, Tom, and Gibbs all stated simultaneously. "He's your substitute."

Tony glanced over to Ziva. She shrugged. "I like that word better."

**Author's Note: Thanks again for readers and reviewers. An answer to one reviewer, I don't plan on Tony taking it all well..all the time. (=**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Emotional Overload**

Ziva begged Tony to allow her to help him out. She seemed desperate for him to stay at her apartment. Tony's apartment would have to be subleased due to it being not handicapped accessible. Ziva begged and begged some more. So much that even Gibbs was suggesting with a stern look that told Tony he didn't have much of a choice. So their first night in the apartment, Ziva was nervous about how to approach the subject of Tony's paralysis.

What could he do on his own? What could he not? What boundaries may be crossed unintentionally was the biggest problem to Ziva. She didn't want Tony to feel he was helpless. However, if he needed help, she longed to be that person to assist him.

"So…" Ziva breathed out nervously. "I see you have your seat on wheels going well."

"It's called a wheelchair, Ziva." Tony spun around in his wheelchair. "You seem nervous."

"I am." Ziva blew out air pushing her hair from her face. "I have been to visit you every day since you're accident almost a month ago. However, you won't allow me to attend your physically therapy classes." Ziva sat down on her sofa. "I don't know your extent of needing me."

"Oh." Tony stared with a semi-grin. "I can crap by myself if that is what you're worried about."

"No. I mean of course not. I mean…."

"Ha. Ziva David is nervous." Tony taunted. "Okay, I'm not even sure how independent I am. I was at a facility that had a lot of things to help me out. Not to mention, most of the people that I saw were facing the same as me."

"I bought a shower thingy." Ziva noted happily.

"A shower thingy?" Tony frowned. "That could translate into many things. Some of which are inappropriate for me to say."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "It is a plastic chair that you sit in while you shower."

Tony shook his head. "Well, I showered before leaving the hospital. Therefore, that isn't something you have to worry about tonight. Unless, you're just trying to see me naked, Zeeevah."

"I shall ignore that, Tony. Only because I have plans that you might enjoy tonight." Ziva smiled proudly.

"Really?" Tony wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Ziva shook her head and rolled her eyes. "You will never change, Tony." Ziva then walked towards the kitchen. "I think you shall be surprised."

Tony sat in his wheelchair watching Ziva leave. He then sunk exhausted in his chair. Ziva had no idea how much he had changed. His confident self was gone. He wasn't sure if he was able to be anything like the old Tony. Especially when it came to women. That scared him more then he wanted to face. However, he feared living with Ziva would make him face that reality on a daily basis. This was not a good idea for him. But he'd do whatever made her happy. He'd do this for her.

"Do you need help getting into the room that has the television?" Ziva smiled as she came out of the kitchen carrying popcorn.

"No." Tony followed behind her. "I thought you didn't have a television."

"I thought I may not be American without one." Ziva sat down the popcorn on the table. She then went back to get a couple of drinks. She yelled from the kitchen. "Can you get on the sofa by yourself?"

Tony was already getting frustrated with Ziva was asking about him being able to do this and do that. But he just answered her in his usual upbeat manner. "Think so."

He had worked out his arms so much that his upper body strength was remarkable. Ziva stood in the door watching him in awe. His arms flexed as he pulled himself on to the sofa. Ziva wondered how gorgeous Tony's upper body had became with his workouts. She scolded herself mentally for her thoughts before walking in to join him.

"I hope you like this." Ziva plopped down beside him. "I don't mean this offensively. I …" Ziva began to second guess herself for the idea. "Maybe we should just watch Magnum P.I. I brought your dvds from your apartment."

"Ziva." Tony grabbed her hand. "I won't be offended. Whatever it is? Is it _Body Heat?" _Another tease just like the old Tony. He wasn't sure how long he could pull off pretending all was well. He'd give it his best shot though.

"Fine." Ziva leaned back into the couch. She was very tense. Her shoulders were stiff. Her body seemed even stiffer.

Tony wasn't doing so great with her tension as he was tense himself. He turned his gaze from her to the television.

The screen began to play Ziva's choice for their television viewing. She swallowed nervously waiting for Tony's reaction_. _Good or bad.

Tony blinked then leaned forward. He then began to laugh. "_Ironside_! You found _Ironside_ on DVD!"

Ziva bit her lip. "Do you like?"

"Heck yes!" Tony wanted to hug her. He was actually excited.

"I have the whole series. Eight seasons. I found them with the help of McGee." Ziva grinned proudly. "I thought that being…." Ziva stopped her words.

"Being in a wheelchair and an ex-cop, I could relate." Tony sounded elated. And for once since his accident, he wasn't faking his emotions.

"Yes." Ziva snapped her fingers. "That is it exactly. I am glad you like. The only problem I have with it is that the main character used his brains to solve cases. I am not sure you have that in you." She teased.

"Funny." Tony grabbed Ziva by the arm. He wrestled her with is upper body before he pinned her down on the couch. "Are you letting me win because you feel sorry for me?"

"Maybe." Ziva giggled. She then breathed out as she went to push Tony off. She noticed his taunt abs through his tight t-shirt. She swallowed as lust began to build in her.

Tony noticed the sultry look in Ziva's eyes. He had seen it before with his partner. However, he and she had chose to ignore the looks they gave one another. This time, Tony decided that no one knew the future. Why waste it on not trying? Or was it Ziva who decided? Because both moved in until their lips seared together.

Tony twisted Ziva's dark chocolate locks into his fingers. He felt Ziva's tongue playing on his lips begging for entrance into his mouth. Tony allowed her to play with the kiss as she pleased. Before they both knew it, Tony had Ziva's body down into the cushion on the sofa.

Her hand went up Tony's shirt to touch his bare chest. Tony could hear Ziva moan out as her fingers scraped down his sculpted chest. His own hand decided to take a chance by unbuttoning her shirt.

Tony tried to move himself closer to her. He knew what this was leading to. Then he realized that his body wasn't reacting as it should be.

He pulled away. He pushed off her quickly. With the push of his arms from her body, came a series of foul words from his mouth. Tony pulled himself quickly off the sofa and onto the wheel chair. He turned from Ziva.

Ziva pushed her hair from her face. She straightened her shirt. She tried to think of what went wrong. Did she offend him? Did he not want her?

She glanced over at Tony. His shoulder's were shaking. Ziva knew immediately that he was sobbing silently.

"Tony?"

"Please, Ziva. Don't." Tony tried to wheel away from her. "This was a bad idea."

"Tony, please." Ziva grabbed the handle to his wheelchair. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing." Tony tried to hide his shame. His voice raised in anger and frustration. "Nothing. Just leave me alone. Quit trying to fix this!"

"I'm not." Ziva went to the front of Tony. "I'm not"

"You didn't ask about my knee." Tony shook his head trying to explain.

"I don't understand." Ziva got on her knees in front of Tony. "Please tell me_."_

"The time we went undercover." Tony looked up at her. His pride was already gone. Why bother trying to hide his glistening eyes from the tears that had fallen. "I can't be a man for you, Ziva." His words were in a low whisper. "My body didn't react to you. You. The woman I've desired since the day I first saw you."

Ziva ran her finger across Tony's cheek caressing away a tear falling. "The doctor said that the brain is more important when it comes to that." She giggled nervously. Tony just stared at her.

Ziva then moved his arms so they were spread apart. She climbed into his lap. Tony didn't object. He allowed it as he just watched her.

"Can we just begin slow? Why must it be about sex?" She leaned her head on Tony's shoulder.

"Tony Dinozzo here." Tony sighed out. "Remember?"

"Perhaps, it is time for Tony Dinozzo to grow up. Maybe it is time that we both allow ourselves to feel those emotions we've hidden. I don't need the physical at this time, Tony." Ziva snuggled deeper into Tony's neck. "I just want the emotional. It is difficult enough. Is it not?"

"Don't feel sorry for me. I don't need this." Tony whispered lowly.

Ziva began to sob into Tony's neck. "I thought I lost you. That was the worst thing I've ever faced. And though you may not need this…" Ziva tried to catch her breath between sobs. "Perhaps, I do."

**Author's Note: I know this is very angsty. However, I am trying to make this realistic giving the situation. I hope I give this situation justice. I appreciate the feedback that I'm getting. I was very impressed with the personal story of some. Makes me want to do this right. Just stick in there...have to have the storm before the calm.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Intimacy through Conversation**

Most of the two weeks that Tony lived at Ziva's went uneventful. Mainly it was because Ziva had to be on cases for long hours. Ziva brought in a nurse to help Tony out. Tony didn't mind as he was just getting used to being in a wheelchair. He wanted to be more independent before being alone with Ziva. It made him feel more of a man. It was very Ziva-like to make sure the nurse was male.

Ziva was very accommodating in hiring a contractor to make more conveniences for Tony's accessibility. Food was brought down to his level. Metal bars had been installed in the bathroom to help him pick up himself to get on the toilet as well as the shower. Tony felt as independent as Ziva could make him feel. He knew she was trying. He hid his frustration due to pride mostly. He had broke down crying in front of Ziva two weeks ago. However, she broke down as well.

Neither was sure what that night meant. They didn't kiss again. Neither was sure how to approach that type of behavior with one another. Therefore, they settled into a routine without questioning it. However, they didn't share their new found fondness of each other with any one. Tony didn't sleep in the guest room. That was established on the first night. Ziva crawling in his lap made them both aware they needed intimacy in other ways and closeness of one another.

Therefore, from day one, Ziva had helped Tony into bed with her. Once his body settled, she snuggled up against him. She laid on his bare chest each night as they slept. They didn't undress or dress in front of one another. They laid each night holding one another. Talking was predominant. Secrets were even revealed. Emotional secrets that neither dared to mention before were now being unloaded on one another.

Tony pulled Ziva closer when the talks became serious.

"I can't remember her." Tony admitted when speaking of his mother. Ziva could tell it bothered him as well as saddened him. "Dad wasn't one to talk about her much. Of course, He wasn't around much to talk."

"I remember my mother fondly." Ziva was also saddened by that fact as well. "However, Eli thought mother made me weak. He kept me from being mother's daughter."

0o0

"Dad is a conman, Ziva. I don't think he ever had the money he pretended." Tony half chuckled. "I guess he even conned me."

"He is a Dinozzo. That makes him a charmer." Ziva flirtatiously smacked at Tony's chest.

0o0

"I told Jeanne I loved her after she played my hand. I didn't do it willingly. Paula had died. I was reminded that time was short." Tony recalled the memory. "Paula even said as much. I didn't want to hurt Jeanne. But I guess I didn't love her enough. I should be able to say it without being forced to do so. In the end, NCIS was more important than she was. "

Ziva snuggled closer with each talk. She needed him.

Ziva sighed. "I never told that to Michael. I suppose because I didn't love him."

0o0

"I told Gibb's 'NO' once." Tony whispered in her ear. "We were going on like nothing happened to you. I just couldn't do it anymore. I needed something. Even if it was only revenge. Finding you was so much more."

"I was ready to die. I didn't care that I was walking into a suicide mission. I lost all that I knew when I gave up the team out of stubbornness. But I knew mostly I turned against you. And I cared so much more than I wanted about you." Ziva caressed Tony's chest softly while curling his chest hair between her fingers. "I hated myself for caring about you and Michael at the same time. I hated that I couldn't save him. That it could have been you. I hated me at that time, Tony. Not you."

"I couldn't live without you, Ziva." Tony ran his hand over Ziva's shoulder and through her hair. "I didn't care about much after I thought you died. Losing Jeanne was easy compared to losing you."

"It was bad, Tony. Saleem ..the camp…it was bad." Ziva pushed herself deeper into Tony's arms. Security of being held by him was what she needed.

"I'm sorry." Tony whispered as he kissed the crown of her head. "I'm so sorry."

"You saved me." Ziva blinked back tears. "More than you know."

"I saved myself, Ziva. When I found you." Tony continued to caress Ziva to soothe her. He could feel her nervousness.

"I want to tell you something, Tony."

"Okay. I'm listening."

"I have been with no one since Michael. No one willingly." Ziva sighed as she shuddered against Tony.

Tony understood. She was saying that she was taken forcefully during her time in Somalia. He knew it probably happened. But hearing her admit it, made Tony want to kill Saleem again. Only this time it would be his bullet and not Gibbs' that shot the fatal shot.

"Ray?" Tony questioned soothingly.

Ziva shook her head no. Tony could feel Ziva's wet tears against his chest. "No. No one."

"I understand."

"No. You don't. I am glad we can spend time like this before or if things go beyond. I am not ready to be touched yet. I know that was years ago. However, I need to trust again." Ziva pulled herself so that she was perched on Tony's chest. She was staring sincerely into Tony's eyes. "I trust you with more than my body, Tony. I trust you with my heart."

"I love you, Ziva."

**Author's Note: I am enjoying all the great reviews. Thank you very much. Shorter than usual but I felt a good place to stop.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Another Chance**

Ziva paced back and forth nervously glancing at her cell phone. She sighed out with a huff.

"Something else you'd rather be doing, David?" Gibbs crooked his eyebrow and stared his glare towards his female agent.

Ziva bit her lip almost afraid to answer honestly. "I'm sorry, Gibbs. I will do better."

Agent Welling snapped a few photos trying to ignore Ziva's nervousness. He still hadn't became her friend. He had befriended McGee. However, the new agent could tell Ziva was anxiously awaiting Agent Dinozzo's return to NCIS. If there was to be a return? Tom Welling thought he was probably the only one to realize Tony may never be able to be an agent again. He'd never dishearten the group he worked with. However, he longed to go to his own station of work. His wife had already set up house there. After all, this was only temporary. He was reminded that often enough by Agent David.

"Do you have a problem too, Probie?" Gibbs turned his attention away from Ziva to his new temporary agent.

"No, Sir." Tom never called him boss. He also never received head slaps. He did his job well. But even he knew that he was TEMPORARY. He wasn't exactly probationary either. He had been in this work for more years than Ziva or McGee. He never dared to remind them though.

"Then why do you keep glancing at Agent David instead of the dead body?" Gibbs squatted down beside of Agent Welling.

Agent Welling squared back his shoulders. "Isn't today when Agent Dinozzo was supposed to go to his doctor?" He shrugged nonchalantly. "I just thought his girlfriend may want to be with him."

"Girlfriend?" Ziva and Gibbs both asked simultaneously.

"Oh." Welling frowned. " I just assumed." He went back to work quickly.

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Pssh. I'm not his girlfriend."

Ziva knew her status was indeed girlfriend status. Her and Tony never said the words. But the feelings were mutual. The problem Ziva had was informing the others on the team. She wasn't sure if Tony wanted that.

"But you are worried. Aren't you, Ziver?" Gibbs turned to Ziva with his arms folded over his chest.

"Yes." Ziva admitted.

"Well, why don't you head over to the doctor's appointment?" Gibbs patted her shoulder. "We have this."

"I would. But Tony said he'd prefer to make this decision on his own." Ziva ran her hand nervously through her hair. "I just worry."

"Is it time for the surgery already?" Gibbs pulled Ziva aside.

"Actually, the doctor prefers waiting. But the last appointment it was discovered he had been taking too many muscle relaxants. They fixed the dosage. Tony is in a lot of pain when his muscles tense." Ziva blinked. "But he actually likes the pain. He said at least he feels something."

"Very Tony-like." Gibbs made Ziva sit in the back of the truck with the doors open.

"Yes. But it is difficult watching him." Ziva sighed. "I'd prefer him numb. I hate seeing him in pain."

"He'll have the surgery." Gibbs informed her to make her aware of her denial of it.

"Why? Why when it may kill him?" Ziva shook her head. "I need him."

Gibbs sat down beside her. He touched her shoulder. "You love him?"

Ziva nodded than answered. "Yes."

"I see." Gibbs half smiled. "I guess I've seen for a long time. I guess most of us did."

"He loves me too." Ziva grinned. "We love each other."

"Well, Rule 12 went out the window." Gibbs laughed. "Support him. No matter what. Because he needs you too."

O0o0o0

Tony waited for Dr. Pitt's response. The doctor placed down his clipboard. "Where's Ziva?"

"I didn't want her to persuade me into another decision." Tony informed him. "She has a way of making me do as she wants." He grinned.

"Don't all women?" Dr. Pitt laughed. "The operation is still dangerous."

"Yeah. Well, with my lungs, isn't it always going to be dangerous?" Tony glanced down at his lifeless legs. "I hate not being able to be an agent. I hate not being able to …." Tony blinked. "To touch her like I want. I know we have other ways of being intimate. I love that. But I fear she will need more one day."

"There are other ways, Tony." Dr. Pitt handed Tony a brochure. "You can take…"

"The little blue pill?" Tony laughed. "Or have procedures done. I got that. But I want to walk again."

"This surgery is not 100% even if you survive it." Dr. Pitt wanted Tony to know the whole deal.

Tony shook his head. "I know. But I'd kick myself for not trying. Well, Ziva would have to kick me because my legs wouldn't work."

"I'll set up a date for surgery then." Dr. Pitt could see there was no getting around this. "Are you sure you don't need to talk this over with Ziva?"

Tony sighed in exasperation. "I'm sure."

He knew she'd make him change his mind. She loved him to much to chance it. But he had a chance. Therefore, he was going to take it.

Tony wheeled from the hospital. He quickly dialed Ziva's cell number. She answered nervously.

"I'm going to have the surgery." Tony breathed out rapidly.

Ziva didn't answer. She bit her lip to stop the quivering.

"Answer me, Ziva." Tony begged.

"I love you so much." Ziva sat down at her desk. "I want to support you."

"Baby, I know this decision should have been talked over." Tony wheeled away from his nurse trying to get some privacy. "But I know how persuasive you can be. I just don't want you to influence me."

"I don't want that either. I fear you would resent my butting in." Ziva placed her hand under her chin as she leaned on her elbow.

"You're not butting in. This concerns you too. I'm aware of that. I plan to have a future with you, Ziva David." Tony thought it was much easier saying that to her over the phone.

There was no hesitancy at all. Instead there was an edge of excitement in Ziva's voice. "I want that too, Anthony Dinozzo."

**Author's note: Thanks for reading. Thanks for feedback. Thanks for the suggestions as well. (= I find it difficult to remember to write Ziva without contractions. Then I sometimes remember and forget to make Tony's words using them. Haha.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Falling for You**

"Let me help you." Ziva stood only a few inches inside the bathroom door.

"I can do this." Tony exhaled in frustration. "I've done it over and over."

"Yes. However, you have been working hard at physical therapy today. You're arms are weak, Tony." Ziva stepped a step closer. "I can help."

"No!" Tony snapped at her. "I don't want to feel like ….." Tony closed his eyes trying to compose himself. "I can take care of myself."

Ziva crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine. Be Mr. Stubborn. Get in the shower by yourself."

"I will." Tony's agitation was evident in his voice. He pulled himself off his wheelchair and tried to get in the shower. He held himself precariously over the shower seat. "Could you not stare?"

Ziva turned her back to Tony. She knew he wanted to take the towel from his waist so he could sit. Ziva hated how Tony wouldn't let her help him. She hated it even more when she heard a thud behind her.

"Tony!" Ziva exclaimed as she rushed to a sprawled out Tony on the shower room floor. "Are you okay?"

Tony's face was flushed red. He tried to scoot up with his arms. Ziva slid herself under his arm trying to help him. The spray of the shower soaked them both. Tony grunted along with Ziva as she tried to help him into the shower seat. However, the slippery shower floor made them both fall back down to the floor of the shower.

Ziva burst out laughing. Tony didn't think it was so funny. "I'm glad you're having fun."

"Please, Tony. It is hilarious." Ziva continued to giggle. "I am soaked and fully dressed."

"So." Tony scooted himself to the back of the shower corner. "I'm naked."

"I see that." Ziva glanced down him. "I see that well."

"Kind of vulnerable here." Tony quipped still irritated with the situation.

Ziva grabbed a washcloth from the rod in the shower. "Here. Yet, I do not think this is big enough."

Tony smiled at Ziva. "You're crazy."

"Yes. Perhaps." Ziva crawled towards Tony. "I'm crazy about you."

"Come here." Tony crooked his finger and beckoned Ziva.

Ziva crawled slowly over to Tony. The spray of the water hit them as she stared at him. "I just want to be here for you. You'd do the same for me."

"I know." Tony brushed the wet tendrils of Ziva's hair from her face. "I just want to be more manly with you. You're too independent as it is. I want to be the one that helps you."

Ziva perched herself over top of Tony's body. "You do every day that I get to spend with you."

"My perfect Ziva." Tony raked his hand along Ziva's jaw line. "I want to be so much more for you."

"No one is perfect, Tony. And you are more than enough for me." Ziva closed her eyes. She then leaned to kiss Tony. However, Ziva stopped just short of Tony's lips. She could feel his heated breath on her lips. Tony leaned in to meet her lips.

The kiss seared through their bodies in a need for one another. Tongues dueled for dominance. Fingers danced on skin in light feathery touches.

When they finally pulled away from the heated kiss, Tony and Ziva leaned their foreheads against one another panting for breath.

"I'm not sure I can." Tony broke the sound of their panting. "I'm afraid I won't be any good."

Ziva ran her hand in Tony's wet hair. "Let's just feel one another in touches. We've been afraid to do so. I want to touch you, Tony."

Tony blinked before staring in Ziva's eyes. "I want you so much."

"I can tell." Ziva teased addressing Tony's desire.

Tony bit his lip. "Yeah. Not the knee."

"Not the knee." Ziva sighed out. "I'm afraid, Tony. I know you would never hurt me. But I don't think I'm ready either."

Tony pulled Ziva back to him. He began to strip her of her clothing. Neither said another word as they allowed themselves the pleasure of touches and kisses. They didn't take it any farther. However, it seemed more intimate than either had ever experienced before in their lifetimes.

Ziva bathed Tony gently. Tony in return bathed Ziva. Never had Ziva felt more love than at the moments of Tony touching her to wash away the soap or shampooing her hair. She stayed in the floor with Tony. They never tried to return him to his shower seat.

The shower ended with Ziva helping Tony back into his wheelchair. Tony watched as Ziva shut off the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. She smiled at Tony motioning for him to come to the bedroom.

"I want to dry you." Ziva stated to Tony..

Tony whispered back sultry. "Only if I can return the favor."

"Of course." Ziva winked.

Their night ended with toweling off one another's body. Nothing more happened. Nothing less happened. They lay nude holding one another. They were falling to sleep wrapped in each other's arms as well as falling deeper in love with one another.

**Author's note: Thanks again for the feedback. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Waiting, Awards, and Flower Girls**

Ziva bit her nails nervously as she watched the clock tick on and on. She hated the feeling of being out of control. Times like this reminded her of how truly weak she was.

The thudding in her head was her own heartbeat resounding louder and louder with each passing minute. She knew the surgery would be a long one. She still wasn't prepared for the waiting game again. Tony's life was at stake again. That wasn't something Ziva wanted to think about. It was his decision. No one else influenced him. That didn't make anything better. She loved him. Tony was Tony. With his wheelchair or with his legs.

"Here." Gibbs thrust a cup of coffee towards Ziva. "He'll pull through."

Ziva only nodded. She stared at the coffee then blew on it to cool it down. "What did Vance say?"

Gibbs motioned with a nod to go sit. He placed his coffee on the end table by the waiting area seats. "He said that we could try Tony with paper work duty. He won't be allowed on the field. But it is a temporary basis until we can see if he is able to walk. If not, there are desk jobs for him."

"Tony won't settle for that." Ziva narrowed her eyes. "He's capable of more."

"Ziva, he can't go in the field." Gibbs patted Ziva's hand.

"He can." She insisted. "Not when we are chasing down a suspect in action. However, he can go just as Ducky and Palmer does. He can case the scene. He can interview and interrogate. Believe me even in a wheelchair, Tony can be convincing."

Gibbs chortled. "I'll take your word for that."

Ziva's face turned a bright red. "I mean…" She rolled her eyes. "Are you channeling Tony?"

"Maybe." Gibbs laughed. "We'll see. But Vance needed convinced of even letting Tony come back. I reminded him of discrimination as well as Tony being able to sue NCIS."

"Well, he never liked Tony. He always thought he was better than him. However, my father told me that Vance got his job only through circumstance. He may be director. But he is no Dinozzo." Ziva folded her arms over her chest defensively. "He'd be lucky to even be half the man Tony is. Tony hasn't even received any awards for all of his valor. He was shot in the line of duty. Yet, nothing. That doesn't count the many times he's saved lives. Mine and yours."

"You don't have to convince me." Gibbs acknowledged. "He's been slighted. I put in for him a few medals. Never heard any thing else about it. Mentioned it. Ignored."

"He received nothing for Somalia." Ziva ranted on. "Nothing for saving you and Kelly's friend. Nothing for…" Ziva kept on ranting. Gibbs listened knowing it was helping her with her nervousness.

McGee was eavesdropping as he slumped in his chair. Abby turned to him. "Do you hear what she's saying?"

"Yep. And she's right." McGee noted. "Ducky has received recognition as well. We all know the countless awards the boss has."

"I've even gotten awards for my work. How about you?" Ziva questioned. "Wait. I know you did. You got one for cracking some codes while you were in the basement with the geek squad."

"Yeah. Vance likes me." McGee smiled and winked.

"Timmy, I like you too. But Tony never gets his due." Abby pouted.

McGee looked over at Ziva, who was still going on about the greatness of one Very Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo. "I think he has every thing he wants now."

Abby glanced in the same direction as McGee. "I think you're right, Timmy. She is very dedicated to him now. Don't you think it will be odd them not bickering in the office."

"I never thought about it." McGee laughed. "I'm still thinking how awkward it's going to be with them being all lovey dovey."

"I think it will be cute to the max." Abby squeaked out happily. "I hope I get to be flower girl."

"Abby, they just started dating officially. You're jumping the gun." McGee stared at Ziva. Then turned back to Abby. "Besides, you're too old to be flower girl. Maybe maid of honor."

"Hmm. But Ziva won't be the traditional bride. I'll be flower girl. You can be the maid of honor." Abby argued.

"Seriously. I refuse to be the maid of honor." McGee grimaced. "Maybe I can be Tony's best man."

"Not happening. Tony will pick Gibbs." Abby pointed out. "As long as I'm flower girl."

Both felt a slap to the back of their heads.

McGee straightened up. "Sorry, Boss. Stopping talking now."

Abby grabbed her head in shock. "Gibbs, you head slapped me."

"You weren't standing up so I couldn't slap you any where else." Gibbs winked "Let's let Tony heal from this before we scare him and Ziva to death with marriage talk."

"Yes, Boss." McGee agreed quickly. "You don't think Ziva heard us. Do you, Boss?" Suddenly, McGee was the nervous one in the room.

Ziva approached. "Don't worry, Tim. I will pick a beautiful dress for my maid of honor. I'm sure the color will match your eyes. "

Ziva walked off with a chuckle. Her worries dissipated for a small moment. She headed towards Ducky and Palmer, who had just arrived.

Abby sat there with a large grin on her face. She began to hum.

"Why are you so happy, Abs?" Gibbs noticed her overzealous look.

Abby continued to grin. "That means I'm flower girl."

**Author's Note:I know updates are short. But I'm getting more out there. I hope to wrap this up in a few more chapters. Feedback is always a pleasure to read. Thank you.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Starting Over**

Tony blinked as light hit his eyes. He had been here before. "Hey, beautiful." But that wasn't how he woke up before.

"You're not so bad yourself." Ziva ran her hand over Tony's forehead. "Dr. Pitt informed us the surgery went well. Now all the hard work is in your hands."

Tony smiled groggily. "I can think of ways to exercise."

"I'd smack you in the back of the head, Dinozzo. But you're so high on painkillers right now, it would be a waste of my time." Gibbs teased.

"Right, Boss." Tony slurred out. "No having sex with Ziva when you're around."

"I hope not." Gibbs chuckled.

"He really is high isn't he?" McGee laughed along with the rest of the team. "I can't wait to tease him about this one. Especially when he finds out that he said it to you, Boss."

Gibbs silently smiled. He then watched as he senior agent drifted off to sleep mumbling something very inappropriate about his other agent Ziva David.

Ziva listened to the team's banter with one another pleased more than anything that Tony was once again out of danger. Only time would tell if he could walk again. Time and hard work was what mattered now.

"Look how hot his arms look." Abby interrupted with a random thought.

"You think Tony's arms are hot?" McGee showed obvious jealousy.

Ziva raised her eyebrows in her own jealous protest.

"Well, yeah. He's buff. I mean I felt his thighs and butt before. Nice but his arms were never this…" Abby ranted on.

"You felt his thighs?" Ziva and McGee stated simultaneously. "And butt?"

"Oh. Well, it was kind of in my face." Abby never elaborated. It was as if Ziva and McGee knew how Tony had his butt in her face. "Any way, his arms are really nice. Great biceps."

Ziva took it as Abby being Abby. "He's been using his arms as his ways to get around. I agree nice."

"Well, I think I'll head home for the evening. This talk of biceps and agents seeing one another has done me in for the day." Gibbs smirked. "See you all in the morning. Except you, Ziva. Take care of my boy."

"I will." Ziva proudly announced. "He's my boy too."

0o0o0o0o _Two Weeks Later _0o0o0o0o

"Are you hurting, Tony?" Ziva helped Tony on to the elevator.

"No, Sweet cheeks." Tony teased. "I just can't wait to get back to work. Even if it is just desk work."

"Well, my hairy butt, I think Agent Welling was more pleased than you. He was more than eager to leave." Ziva pressed the buttons on the elevator.

"I don't suppose you had anything to do with that." Tony knew his girl well.

"Maybe, I made him feel less than welcome." Ziva admitted. "But in my defense, I am in love with his predecessor."

"Love you too." Tony winked. "I'm excited." He exhaled.

"Because you love me?" Ziva teased.

"Yeah. That too. But it almost feels like I am starting over." Tony shrugged. "Maybe it's the wheelchair."

"You'll be working on walking in less than a month." Ziva touched Tony's shoulder. "I'll help."

"Hmmm." Tony grinned naughtily. "Can I choose how you can help?"

"Maybe. Depends on if you can solve the case or not." Ziva teased. "I'll reward you some how."

"That's what I'm counting on." Tony jutted his eyebrows up and down.

"Were here." Ziva breathed out nervously for Tony.

"Yeah." Tony leaned his head into his hands.

"Are you okay?" Ziva stopped the elevator. "Do you need something?"

"Just self confidence back." Tony looked up at Ziva. He squeezed her hand. "A little nervous. I'm not much of an Ironside."

"You'll do fine." Ziva got to one knee.

"Are you proposing?" Tony teased. "Because I'm not sure I'm ready."

"Funny, Tony." Ziva smacked at his arm. "I was just going to kiss you for good luck."

"I'll take that. I think I can use all the luck I can get." Tony allowed Ziva to kiss him.

She turned the elevator back on as she stood. "You don't need luck. You're Very Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo."

The doors to the elevator opened. Tony wheeled out. A lot of people stared but not for long as Gibbs gave those that did a warning glare.

"What you got?" Gibbs stated.

McGee ranted on about some computer glitch he had found on the latest victim's computer. Ziva hurried to her desk and started searching the victim's latest whereabouts.

Tony glanced over the file quickly trying to catch up with the rest of the team. Gibbs had moved Tony's desk farther out to make allowance for Tony's wheelchair. Therefore, it wasn't awkward at all once Tony was behind his desk. He felt in his element.

"Boss, has anyone followed up on this one." Tony clicked on the plasma.

"What are you thinking?" Gibbs asked.

"She was just a babysitter, Tony." McGee rolled his eyes.

"Really. Someone that looks like that was just a babysitter." Tony questioned.

"She's not that hot." Ziva glanced at the screen. "She's a plain Crane."

"It's a plain Jane." Tony corrected her. "No. I mean….no one looks like that and just be a babysitter."

Gibbs looked closer at that screen. "Good job, Tony. Ziva, McGee, bring her in for questioning."

Gibbs walked off.

McGee got his gear quickly. He stopped at the screen. "I don't get what you see."

"I mean no one LOOKS like that. The babysitter is staring at the wife. And not a normal stare."

"Oh…..I see. That is kind of …." Ziva blushed.

"Like how you look at me, Sweet Cheeks." Tony folded his arms behind his head.

"Yes. My hairy butt." Ziva giggled.

Tony straightened up when he saw Gibbs coming back. He stated sternly. "Hey, aren't you two supposed to be bringing the babysitter in?"

McGee and Ziva saw Gibbs coming. "Yes. Boss…I mean..Tony."

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Tangled Limbs**

Tony pushed up again against the metal bars. He sucked in much needed air as exhaustion was making his arms shake. He glanced down at his legs that seemed to just dangle beneath him. He closed his eyes trying to get the energy to try once more. He allowed his weight to go towards his limbs causing his body to lunge forward.

There he lay with tangled limbs and a frustrated attitude. "I quit." He grunted lowly.

"Hey!" His physical trainer approached. "I told you to wait for me. I had to help someone else. Let's try this again with me doing my job this time."

"No." Tony pulled himself up with the help of his trainer. "I'm wore out. I'm tired of trying."

"You mean tired for tonight." His trainer would not let any of his patients give up. He knew Tony had to be frustrated. The man was working so hard to walk again but nothing seemed to be happening with Tony's limbs.

"Yeah." Tony rubbed his neck trying to get the tension from at least that part of the body.

Ziva walked in before they continued to discuss the lack of inspiration further. "How's my hairy butt?"

Tony half smiled as his physical trainer laughed at the banter the two always seemed to have around one another.

"He needs to hit the whirlpool to relax those muscles." His therapist informed her.

"I'm just going to shower and head back to bed." Tony disagreed. "Too tired."

Tony then wheeled away. His therapist turned to Ziva. "He's had a another rough day."

"I'll take care of him." Ziva informed him. "He's Tony. He is a fighter. He's a survivor."

"He's already made it farther than most, Ms. David." Tony's therapist shook his head. "I just think he needs to get a little confidence built up before he gets depressed."

"Well, here he comes." Ziva smiled. "Get him ready and I'll pull the car around. I need to make a phone call."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Tony didn't say many words as Ziva drove towards their destination. He seemed to be far away in thought. Ziva didn't bother to make small talk. She was glad when she watched Tony lull into a troubled sleep. She hated seeing him so downhearted. Perhaps, she could help him somehow.

Tony slowly opened his dreary eyes when he felt the car engine shut off. He glanced around puzzled. "Where are we?"

"It is a bed and bake feast." Ziva grinned.

"You mean bed and breakfast." Tony chuckled.

"Whatever." Ziva winked. "I did get the _bed_ right though."

"You did." Tony once again faked a smile.

Ziva smiled broadly hoping her joy would spread to Tony. "I'll get your wheelchair."

Tony nodded. As she stepped out of the car, his stomach began to tie in knots. Was Ziva's remark a hint? Was she expecting more than where their relationship had gone so far? Tony still felt like half a man at times. He truly didn't know if he would ever be the same Tony he once was when it came to the intimacy factor.

Ziva opened Tony's car door. She still seemed too perky for Tony's mood. "Did I mention the rooms have their own private hot tub? That can be like a whirlpool. Yes?"

"Yeah." Tony tried to swallow. He kept trying to put on the façade of being fine. But inside he was becoming more and more anxious.

Ziva was battling her own demons. She truly hoped the smirk on Tony's face didn't mean he wanted to take the relationship to a new level. She only decided to come to the quaint place to get away from the frustrating day. However, Tony seemed to have a strange look on his face that was making Ziva suddenly nervous.

Tony and Ziva both were misinterpreting each other.

They made it to their room. Tony noticed the hot tub was already heating up when they arrived. Ziva chirped out. "I called ahead for them to get it ready. Why don't you get in the hot tub while I ready myself to join you."

Tony watched Ziva sexily saunter away. He gulped as the bile built in his stomach.

As the door closed to the bathroom, Ziva sighed heavily. She leaned on the porcelain of the sink. Staring at her self, Ziva tried to convince herself that whatever this night was leading to. She was ready.

Tony slipped into the hot water. He closed his eyes as he leaned his head back against the side of the hot tub. He missed being intimate with a woman. However, this wasn't just any woman. This was Ziva David. The woman he had been in love with for so many years now. The one that he never wanted to ever let go of. The woman he wanted to be the best for. That included life in general as well as intimate acts. They had danced around the actual act of making love. Their own way of being intimate was great. Beyond what either expected. However, they had not crossed the line. Neither even spoke about it due to both having their own fear of the act. Tony's being of the physical nature. Ziva's being of the emotional/mental nature.

Ziva walked over to the side of the hot tub. She looked down at Tony. He could feel her presence looming over him. He opened one eye as he looked at her. Her knuckles seem to whiten as she clung to the terry cloth collar of the robe. He finally noticed that Ziva was as nervous as he was. Maybe more so.

Tony grinned up at her stating sultry. "Lose the robe and join me."

Ziva dropped the robe revealing her nudeness. Tony had seen her nude before. After all, they had been very revealing when undercover years ago. However, it had been a long time. And this time, it was real. They were real.

Ziva stepped into the water and slowly made her way over to Tony. He pulled her to him. He wanted her to feel less nervous. He wanted her to feel safe in his arms.

Soon the thought of his legs not working wasn't a major issue. Tony was more worried about Ziva fearing the touch of a man. He owed her to show her that making love with him was safe and wonderful.

They kissed slowly trying to ease into being comfortable with the situation they were facing. Soon, Tony gripped Ziva's tangled curls in his fingers. "Let's move this to the bed."

Ziva nodded in agreement. Tony was determined to have his lady relax into his arms. He pulled himself into the wheelchair. Ziva allowed Tony to pull her into his lap. He wheeled them to the bed.

Before long, they were once again kissing. The slow kissing became heated as fear dissipated and lust took control. Ziva shook in Tony's arms. The shaking was not nervousness now but of pure wanton desire.

Tony still felt inadequate. He was still trying to concentrate on Ziva rather than himself. Their bodies melded into each other as both uttered words simultaneously.

"I love you."

Soon Ziva was laying on Tony's chest exhausted. He allowed the event to roll over and over in his head hoping that he had been the lover that she desired and deserved.

He glanced down at her when he heard her purr as she slept. A smile crept across his face in satisfaction and confidence. Before closing his eyes, he noticed his legs and hers. Somehow as they made love, he had unconsciously moved his legs.

Now they both lay with tangled limbs.

**Author's Note: I apologize for the long delay in an update. There was a very traumatic death of a friend of my daughters. Such a young life taken too early. However, we are not to lean into our own understanding.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Touching**

Touching had made her feel beautiful. She felt like a real woman. Ziva hadn't even realized she felt like half the woman she was before she was captured in Somalia. She only knew that she missed something within herself that she felt she would never regain. However, Tony's lovemaking brought back the vivacious woman she once was. The woman she had longed to be for such a long time.

Touching had made him feel manly. He knew that he had felt like less a man since the shooting. However, his feelings had been hid behind the façade of jokes and quips. Now he felt like he was everything that Ziva needed and desired. Tony had made love to her more than once that night and many nights after. Touching had made them closer but being completely intimate had connected them like he had never experienced.

Neither had loved so intensely.

Abby smiled at Ziva as she twisted gingerly into her lab. Her mind was sharp as usual. However, the serious Ziva had been replaced with a Ziva that had a light, happier side to her. A side that Tony had seen more than once but not enough. Now Ziva was letting the world see there was more to her than the former Mossad assassin.

McGee noticed Tony had began to put his little nicknames into their conversations. McProbie One Konobie was his favorites. Therefore, when Tony used it during just the right time, McGee pretended to be perturbed but smiled secretly to himself.

Gibbs was back to giving the wheelchair bound Tony smacks to the back of his head due to off the wall comments about movies. He noticed the flirtatiousness between Ziva and Tony when they thought no one was looking. It was something deeper than he had ever expected from either of his agents. For some reason that made Gibbs smile.

Touching. Abby had always been the touching type. Now Ziva was eager to join her in the friendly embraces. It made them both smile.

Touching. Tony always enjoyed Gibbs smacks to the head. Gibb's famous head slaps felt like a way to show that Gibbs cared. Tony had missed being treated like Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo by his boss. It seemed since the shooting that Gibbs walked on eggshells around Tony. The pity was gone and the slaps were back. This made Tony smile.

It only felt natural for Tony to have his friends join him for lunch to reveal his plans. Abby squealed. Ducky rambled on about some story that somehow connected to the moment. McGee and Palmer shook Tony's hand and wished him luck. Gibbs stood back trying to go unnoticed. But he was touched by Tony's information.

Ziva was the only one left out of loop. She would find out soon.

McGee and Palmer agreed to help Tony all they could with his plan. Abby would help pick out the ring. She knew her and Ziva's tastes were different. Therefore, she went with what she knew of Ziva with her suggestions to Tony.

Tony smiled as he touched Abby's hand. "Thanks, Abs."

It would be months before the plan would be executed. Tony had wanted the moment to be perfect.

Time had came. Tony was ready. He only hoped that Ziva was.

The bullpen was quiet. Ziva was studying the screen before her waiting for McGee to upload the information on the present case. Abby, Palmer and Ducky went unnoticed by her as they hid in the back ground waiting.

Gibbs crossed his arms in pretend anger. "Any time, Elf Lord."

"Ummm. Trying, Boss." McGee feigned incompetence.

Tony wheeled to be beside Ziva. "Come on McGoogle."

"Trying, Tony." McGee smiled behind Ziva's back. "Here it is, Boss."

Gibbs swallowed waiting for the words to come across the screen.

"_Marry Me, Ziva."_

It was simple. Nothing big or prolonged. Just a simple statement that scrolled on the screen. No long drawn out quotes from movies. Nothing but a black screen with white text. So there it was in black and white.

Ziva blinked a few times in shock. Then she turned to Tony. The grand finale was about to happen. Tony pushed up from his wheelchair. At first, he was wobbly. However, he stood with the ring held out. A small diamond but a perfect one. Ziva never noticed the diamond.

All she noticed was that Tony stood.

Finally, the shock wore off. She allowed tears to flow in front of others. She never hid them. She smiled as she allowed Tony to place the ring on her finger.

Kneeling on one knee was so over rated in this situation. For Tony standing was grander than any other proposal he could have planned. He stood due to the help of friends, McGee and Palmer, working with him. He stood due to looking at the ring in anticipation that Abby helped pick out. He stood due to Ducky checking his legs out often to make sure he was not straining too often. He stood due to wanting to stand before his future bride.

"You had me at hello." that was Ziva's answer. Everyone laughed in joy at her quoting the famous line from _Jerry McQuire _to answer Tony.

They kissed before Tony sat back down. Claps resounded around the room. Except for Gibbs, who had made himself hidden, for he stood as well.

Only he stood with tear filled eyes. Because he felt it all so touching.

**Author's note: One more chapter for this one. It will be more of a prologue due a small jump in the future. I've enjoyed the feedback very much.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: The End…(Not such a great chapter title but sufficient.)**

Ziva huffed out in frustration as she leaned her elbows on her desk. She glanced over at her wedding photo. She loved her white form fitting dress. It was so feminine and elegant. Not bad for a former Mossad assassin and current NCIS agent. The photo had the bride, her of course, Tony, the groom of course..and the wedding party. That was two years ago. However, her memory of that day was still fond.

She pulled back her hair into a head band as she remembered walking down the aisle to her groom. Tony stood waiting for her. A greater site she couldn't imagine. Tony standing was not only the great part. But the fact that it was Tony that she was walking to. A more wonderful life could not have been bargained for.

Tony had even managed to get Eli David to make amends with his lovely daughter. Sadly, Eli being ill and older helped. However, Tony convinced him that he loved Eli's daughter. He also convinced Ziva that her father made mistakes but their marriage meant new beginnings. Therefore, all were shocked to see Ziva being escorted up the aisle by Eli on one side and her other father, Jethro Gibbs, on the other side of her. Gibbs stepped aside and joined Tony as best man. That allowed Eli to say he gave his daughter away into marriage. Eli had moved to the United States after retiring from being Director of Mossad. He had became a father to Ziva that none had expected. Yet, Ziva cherished.

No one laughed at the fact that Abby was a flower girl dressed in all black and dropped black rose petals. They only smiled. No one second guessed why a male stood beside Ziva as her best friend rather than a maid of honor. At least McGee got to wear a tuxedo like Gibbs, who was Tony's best man. Even if he was deemed Ziva's maid of honor by a teasing Tony. Palmer and Ducky were proud to be ushers.

To some it may not have been the perfect wedding, but to Ziva David and Anthony Dinozzo, it was way beyond perfect. A strange mix of Catholic and Jewish traditions were combined at the wedding. No one questioned it. After all, if a 5'10" flower girl wearing black wasn't questioned, what could be?

Ziva exhaled blowing wisps of hair from her face. She stated something in Israeli then pouted some more.

"What's wrong, my little ninja?" Tony walked up behind her and massaged her shoulders.

"I don't want to be stuck in bed." Ziva crossed her arms defiantly.

Tony jutted up his eyebrows. "Never heard you complain before."

Gibbs head slapped Tony as he walked by.

"Shutting up, Boss." Tony straightened his shoulders.

"On the screen, McGee." Gibbs walked and looked at the screen. "Ziva Dinozzo, don't even think about standing up from that wheelchair to look at this. You are officially off this case."

Ziva grunted something in Israeli again.

"You do know that Eli is teaching me the language?" Gibbs stared at his female agent.

"I did not know this." Ziva's eyes grew larger. "I apologize."

Gibbs turned around with a smirk as he glanced back at the scene.

"It won't be so bad." Tony got down to his knees. He took Ziva's hand. "I'll help you through this. Just like you did me when I wasn't able to walk."

"You caused this." Ziva stared angrily at her husband.

Tony didn't deter. He leaned and kissed Ziva's forehead. "I love you."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "I love you as well, my hairy butt."

He then stood up satisfied that his wife was no longer angry.

"Can we get back to work?" McGee teased. "I'm getting nauseous."

Abby came bounding up all smiles. "I get to take care of you this evening, Ziva. Tony has to work late."

"I appreciate it, Abby." Ziva half smiled. She felt so helpless. "But I can take care of myself."

Abby seemed to sadden at Ziva's words. Ziva noticed and added. "However, I would prefer your company tonight. If that is okay?"

Abby practically squealed with delight.

Suddenly, a young attractive female approached. "I'm here to report for work."

All turned to stare. Gibbs finally spoke up. "May I help you?"

"Yes, I am looking for Agent Gibbs. I am here as a replacement for Ziva David Dinozzo." The young agent smiled.

"SUBSTITUTE!" Everyone including Ziva stated. "Temporary substitute."

"Excuse me?" The female stepped back unsure what to think of everyone's outburst.

"You are my substitute. NOT replacement." Ziva strongly stated.

"Oh." The female smoothed down her skirt. She half smiled at Tony hoping this attractive man would come to her rescue. She blinked her eyes at Tony and moved closer to him.

Tony ignored her as he touched Ziva's shoulder. "You will be able to walk again in no time, Ziva."

"I can walk now." Ziva protested.

"But doctor's orders. You can't." Gibbs noted. "Now let Tony take you home."

"Very well." Ziva no longer had the will to protest. She wheeled out from behind her desk.

"Wow!" The unknowing temporary agent stated. "You're huge….I mean…."

"It is a high risk pregnancy. I am stuck in this wheel chair. I look bigger sitting down…..I'm carrying twins." Ziva glared at the new girl. It was bad enough the pretty thin thing had openly flirted with her husband. But now she was calling her big.

"Yep."Tony stated proudly. He pulled out the ultra sound pictures. They flopped out like wallet photos. He pointed as he showed the new agent his treasures. "This is our girl, Jenny. This is our boy, Jethro."

Ziva smiled knowing that her husband was proud of her and their life as a couple.

"Oh..she's your wife. Twins." The girl took a step away from Tony. "Congratulations."

Tony had been oblivious to the female's flirting and staring. He was infatuated with no other person but Ziva David Dinozzo. Well, and his twins.

Gibbs walked over and glanced at the ultrasound photo. "I have that one."

"Yep, Boss." Tony shook his head as he watched Gibbs pull out his own copy of the ultra sound. "He's named after me." Gibbs stated proudly to the new agent. "Jethro."

The girl just nodded as she was taken aback by this strange team.

"Let's get you home." Tony pushed Ziva's wheelchair towards the elevator. Abby and Gibbs followed.

McGee walked up to the new girl. "Welcome to team."

"They're close to her. Huh?" The new girl asked.

"Yeah. We are." McGee nodded. He then walked back towards his desk. "By the way, Ziva's a little jealous over Tony."

"It was innocent flirting. Besides, she's in a wheelchair. What can she do?" The female laughed as she sat down at Ziva's desk.

"Ummmm." McGee started typing. He chuckled. "I suggest you hide your paperclips."

**Author's Note: The END! I hope you enjoyed..in case the last sentence doesn't make sense..it is in reference to Ziva being able to kill with a paper clip.**


End file.
